Write Life

And I’m done line edits! The book is off for another round of feedback, and meanwhile I’m going to let my brain turn to mush for until it’s time for the next round. Ahh the writing life…

GUESS WHAT? (ICYMI)

No it’s not a book surprise, but it’s a big one, and also the reason I’ve been feeling unwell over the last few months. We’re having another baby this December! I’ve had to take a step back to rest, and cancelled plans – sorry! My pregnancies have both been terrible, but that’s the luck of the draw. If you were one of those miraculously symptom free mothers, I envy you.

I am not looking forward to the sleepless nights, but oh, the baby snuggles, and smiles. I miss those.

Parenthood changes you, and I was just thinking about all the small ways I’ve adjusted over the last few years. These days…

1. I have no time to catch up on TV or binge watch a series. I’ve been to the movie theatre just once this year. MCU? Uh… I’m so lost.
2. I’ve gotten used to being interrupted in the bathroom, in the shower, while sleeping, while eating… pretty much at any time.
3. I never fill my plate, because I know I’ll be eating the child’s leftovers. Also, half eaten food is no longer disgusting. I spent precious time cooking and I’m not going to waste it even if the child does not appreciate it.
4. Most spare bits of time get filled. One minute while something is microwaving means one minute to load the laundry.
5. I treasure the writing time I do get, because it’s one thing in my life that’s just for me.
6. But I’ve also learned the value of doing nothing. This is not laziness. Sometimes you just have to catch your breath and put your feet up.
7. I’ve been squeezing in reading time while the kiddo watches TV and movies (she wants company so it’s a win win).
8. I’ve learned to be present for all those small moments, because these add up to my life.

There are bad parts and hard days, but so is life. There is so little time to actually be myself and not mom or not working. Even though I’m mostly fine, just a little thing could upset the balance of my life, because there is so little wiggle room. I also never knew I could love another human being the way I love my child. The vulnerability and responsibility it makes you feel can be terrifying, and yet here I am willing to do it all over again anyway.

Link’s and Things

• How Craving Attention Makes You Less Creative – I really liked this thread and TED talk by Joseph Gordon-Levitt. For me this feels true. Those moments when I get lost in the work are what make me happiest.

The write life

By about the last act of the novel, I’m usually so tired of the whole process I want to give up. BUT I got it done. Cue golden light from the heavens and angels singing.

Next up are line edits, and those aren’t quite as mentally taxing. All my rewrites and new scenes/chapters are done, so this is good!

I’m kind of bummed it’s taken longer than I budgeted for, but this novel has just been really hard. It doesn’t take place in this world, but many of the incidents are pulled from the Philippine-American war, and not only are they brutal, but it’s only a stone’s throw from what you see in the news today. I’ve had to tread with care, especially with some of the interpersonal intricacies.

Current obsessions

Black Sails – So I’m watching season 3, and E has watched ahead to season 4. He even shaved his head and goatee to look like S3 Captain Flint. *sigh* Yes it can get violent, so I try not to watch when the toddler is around, which means I’m getting through it really slowly. Even though the main character’s are mostly white, I do appreciate that it doesn’t shy away from discussing slavery or class, and queerness is no big deal. I also appreciate that despite the heaviness, there is humor.

It’s not perfect. S1 has gratuitous sex and rape, and I almost didn’t get through it, but the further on in the seasons, the more character focused it gets.

It feels like a lot of shows go for shock factor in their first season. Perhaps if a show does well the actors renegotiate for less nudity in later seasons? I’m not sure what’s going on behind the scenes, but that’s my theory. Honestly, most of these shows don’t need anything beyond good character development, and I find the gratuitousness unnecessary and off putting.

If you’re unsure, here’s a review.

ICYMI

• This thread on internalized misogyny is a must read.
• The Crane Wife – JUST WOW. I will be thinking about this for a long time.