Happiness, Journal

A Moment’s Pause

Hello 2021! I have to admit, I’m a little disappointed that the year didn’t bring with it surprises like the baby sleeping through the night, or miraculously having more time on my hands. I know, I know, a couple of days can’t really make a difference, but considering 2020, I would have taken anything really.

Still, it’s a new year, and a good time to let go of some things, and set intentions for the next few months. The biggest theme for me this year is… learning to take more space.

I sent my Mom a bunch of photos of the kids this year, and she asked “But where are you?” I’ve looked at the photos over the past year, and I’ve been the one documenting everything, but I barely appear. Surviving motherhood has squeezed me into the smallest version of myself, and I need to start reclaiming the bits and pieces that make me, me.

Maybe this means more unapologetic selfies. Maybe it means not censoring myself as much and speaking up more for what I believe in. Maybe it means allowing myself to make more mistakes. Maybe this means taking the time to do a face cleaning routine. Maybe it means doing things for fun instead of just because I have to, like getting back to sewing. It definitely means protecting my writing time better, enforcing boundaries, and giving myself a little more grace/runway to get things done. The main obstacle is (always) time.

It’s a new year. Maybe the world hasn’t changed, but I can make a fresh start, and try for better.

2 Comments to “A Moment’s Pause”

  1. Goodness, are you me?! Or maybe me like 6 months ago. I have definitely felt/thought/written all of this nearly word for word at some point over the past couple years.

    “Surviving motherhood has squeezed me into the smallest version of myself, and I need to start reclaiming the bits and pieces that make me, me.”

    10/10. Well said, and totally agree.

    1. T. S. Bazelli Author

      I think there is just so much to do especially when the kids are small, that there isn’t enough time for everything. There still isn’t, but I’ll take what moments I can and ask for more. *mom hugs* We gotta take care of ourselves too!

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