So now I am again… waiting for feedback. That’s how things go in publishing, if you haven’t noticed 🙂 It’s all hurry up, then wait. But the in between times are necessary, and a good chance to just rest up and recharge, and do some beta reading for friends. It’s as much a part of the process as writing.
In the bad advice chronicles
“Get a thicker skin” is something I hear often when writers have trouble dealing with rejections and the ups and downs of the industry.
Honestly, I think that’s so contrary to what being a writer requires. You need to be emotionally open and vulnerable in order to write. Growing a thicker skin is about the absolute opposite of that.
So what’s a writer to do? I think you have to learn what’s normal in the business and recognize that most things (like rejections) are not personal. It’s about developing coping strategies, because sometimes on a bad day, rejections and negative self talk can be really painful. Sometimes re-framing rejections as positives, and rewarding yourself for the courage to put yourself out there can help. Sometimes you just have to acknowledge that they hurt, and do something nice for yourself. Sometimes you just have to forgive yourself for not being a genius, or not breaking out faster, or not being finished a manuscript. I promise, we all feel like that some days.
I don’t want a thicker skin. I want to feel everything in the world, but that means I have to be open to experiencing the bad parts as well. You can’t just choose the good.
Not so light reading
- A Woman’s Greatest Enemy? A Lack of Time to Herself – When kids are small, there’s just so LITTLE time. They’re so needy.
- How Social Media Shapes Our Identities – Some things to contemplate about growing up / existing in a digital age.
- Writing While Parenting – Gently humorous, but also true.