Diversions

Dispatch 3 via the New Parent Underground 

Life now follows a particular logic, alien to the pre-baby mindset. I have enumerated the new equations below.

Baby Math:

  • Eating + baby = chew x 5 speed
  • Nap time x baby = random success rate
  • Hot days + baby = buy an air conditioner or everyone suffers
  • Tired baby = hyperactive baby
  • Clothes + baby = spit stained + yogurt scented
  • Cooking + baby = crying + smoke alarm ringing + questionable meals 
  • Sleep + baby = unsolvable