It’s the first day of spring. From here, there will be no vernal equinox to observe, except for a slight dimming of the light at the end of a dark and dreary day. But the sun’s always out behind the clouds, and even if I can’t see the sunset, it’s still the start of a new season.
And I’m at the start of something new too. I’m about 18k-words into the first draft of a new YA novel. The words are flying out of my fingers at record speed, but I’m still worried. Every novel kills a few worries, but the dead are replaced by new one’s. Cut off one head, and two spring back in their place. And that is the battle that’s what makes writing so difficult – not the words, but the battle of wills.
So here I throw my writing demons to the world, so that they may wither in the light of the brightening sun.
That this is the most uninspired story in the history of stories. Utterly derivative. Nothing new.
That I will end up with a mess on my hands, a story that makes no sense and requires an ungodly amount of rewriting, or that after months of work, it will end up so broken that it’s not worth fixing.
That the characters are too similar to ones I’ve written about in the past.
That I will succeed with this story and be branded as a YA author, when groups of teens terrify me to this day.
That I don’t have the voice for adult fiction, which is what I prefer to write.
That no one wants to read what I like to write about.
That in twenty years I’ll still be here, working, without any measurable success.
That I’ve hit a ceiling and I can’t improve beyond this point. That I’m incapable of learning more.
That I don’t have enough time to do everything that I want to do in this life. And that some of it won’t happen because it’s not something I can control.
And perhaps I should write my worries on a piece of paper, and set that alight, scatter the ashes to the wind. All I can do is write to the best of my ability and try to keep learning.
What are some of your writing demons? How do you slay them?