Flash Fiction

Flash Fiction: The Memory House

Trying something new this week! Here’s a 100 word flash story based on a photo prompt via the #FridayFictioneers.

The Memory House

It’s our first kiss. You stand on the porch in new jeans, and your hands in your pockets. I laugh at how nervous you are. Or it’s our wedding day. You come and steal a kiss through the window. This time you’re not nervous. Or am I pregnant with our first child? My stomach is round and huge, and you rub at it laughing, for good luck you say as we sit on the steps.

I wait for the time machine to stop spinning. Always, it brings me back here. I hope this time I find you waiting.

29 Comments

  1. Aw. Love the title and the concept. I think I just didn’t like the “or”s. Felt like she was asking me, instead of telling me, the story, you know?

    The last line is heartbreaking.

  2. I can see the objection to the multiple principle uses of “or.” They function the same way, her prying at his intentions. I don’t know if I was turned off by them. Her affection for his intentions is strong enough for me.

  3. Idk, I kind of like the “or”s. It contributes to the disorienting nature of being subject to the time machine–like she’s not so much talking to “him” as she is trying to sort through her recollections. I didn’t like it at first, but in the end it made sense to me. 🙂

  4. Brad

    Interesting POV, anyone know what its called? (where the reader is a character in the story, but not the narrator)

    One hundred word flash fiction is a tough stitch. I like that you turned it into a riddle. It doesn’t feel like a story (beginning, middle, end), but then again I don’t read much flash fiction and not all stories follow classic plot mechanics. This does reminds me of a writing quote that goes like this: “the queen dies and then the king dies are events, the queen dies and then the king dies of a broken heart is a plot.” The point of the quote is to show that plot is ruled by cause and effect, but there is such a thing as anti-plot where seemingly random events drive the narrative. The Big Lebowski is an example of anti-plot. Can you tell I’ve been reading Robert McKee?

    1. I’m not sure if the POV has a name (Some variation on the 2nd person perhaps?), and 100 words turned out to be a lot less space than I bargained for. Not sure if I was successful or not, but it was interesting to try. I’ve actually been thinking about plot – and anti-plot. There are interesting takes on the subject, and disagreement. I should write a post on that as well sometime. 🙂 I’ve never read McKee, but I get the idea.

  5. Intriguing image. The questions about reality act as a good hook to push you deeper into this story.

    P.S. Do you have a setting that disables comments on old stories? Just curious… working through my RSS feeder backlog.

  6. Hey! Glad to see you joined us today, but it was only by accident. You should post your link over on my blog so the others can find you too.

    This was an interesting use of the prompt. I saw it as she’s observing themselves at all the different points in their lives where the church figured prominently. And maybe she’s just getting flashes instead of whole scenes but remembers what each flash was from.

    Hope to see you next week too 🙂

    1. Will do! I have a lot of reading to catch up to, and its a good thing they’re only 100 words. I’ll see what I can do for next week 🙂 Thanks Madison! Another differing interpretation, which is wonderful!

  7. It’s beautiful. It gives me a kind of “The Time Traveler’s Wife” vibe, but in reverse, assuming that you are going for a spec fic angle. Even without one, I’m loving this. It’s quite sentimental.

  8. Very nice – sweet but melancholic. I always feel bad when I compare people’s work to existing material but this did remind me of recent Doctor Who episodes with Rory and Amy always managing to end up together again, even though time is messing them around.

    1. Thanks David 🙂 Doctor Who did actually cross my mind! I was just contemplating of how tricky things must get when you mess with time… and not just for the characters, but for the writers who have to keep all those parallel plots of time organized. Not an easy feat!

  9. Pretty powerful stuff!

    It reads like the opening paragraph of a much bigger story. I think I’m just naturally pessimistic, but if she goes into that house, she isn’t gonna find anything but dust (and more memories).

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