Diversions

The Care and Feeding of Writers

Writers are generally nocturnal, introverted creatures, that come in all shapes and sizes. They require very little in the way of physical maintenance, and make excellent house mates if cared for properly.

Habitat

Writers need a desk, or some small dedicated location to write. You should provide at least paper and a pen for amusement in any setting. However, most writers will prefer a computer and keyboard for everyday work. When it comes to the desk chair, invest in the best that you can afford. This will ensure the longevity of your writer, and prevent future back pain.

Grooming

Your writer may prefer to buy books instead of much needed new clothing, and may not put attention into personal grooming when writing. Upon occasion, you may need to provide gentle reminders that pajamas are not appropriate dress for the supermarket.

Food and Exercise

Dietary needs vary, but if you keep your writer’s stomach full, your writer will be happy. Watch out for the excessive intake of caffeinated or sugary beverages including: soda, coffee, tea. Some writers are also overly fond of alcohol.

When in the midst of a story, it may be difficult to get your writer to leave the house or exercise. Force your writer to get out into the sunshine once in a while. You will likely face complaints, but it’s good for the writer’s body and allows the eyes to rest. Many writers are prone to nearsightedness.

Warnings

Writers can be temperamental creatures. If your writer shows signs of being stressed, try complimenting their writing skills, and cook dinner. Self-doubt is a common disease that writers suffer. You must be prepared to deal with occasional bouts of moodiness and insecurity, if you wish to live with a writer.

Writers are also very observant. If you anger a writer, he or she may expose all your worst flaws in prose, or worse yet, create a character after you and give that character the most horrific fictional death.

Thinking of adopting a writer?

Writers are best suited to caretakers who are secure in their independence, and don’t mind long stretches of silence. Each writer has a distinct, sometimes odd, character. If you enjoy cats, you will likely enjoy the company of writers.

Do not rush into the decision of getting a writer. It takes the right mix of personalities to find harmony in the home, but treat your writer well, and he or she can make the most faithful of companions.

Please share your tips for writer care in the comments.

24 Comments

  1. Very fine advice. A lot of people don’t realize that getting a writer is a big responsibility. You shouldn’t just wake up one day and say to yourself, “wouldn’t it be nice to have a writer around here” and promptly go out and get one. Instead, they should take care to study the matter before making a decision.

    It might be pointed out that there are some important tempermental and care/feeding differences between different breeds of writer. Literary writers, for instance, think of themselves in more grandiose terms – they’re more concerned about the quality of their prose and the recognition and adulation of other literary writers. But literary writers tend to have better self-grooming habits. Genre writers might have poorer self-grooming habits, but they’re easier to please. It will be easier to care for a genre writer if you’re at least somewhat conversant in your genre writer’s favored genre.

    1. T. S. Bazelli Author

      Excellent observations Stephen. It is one of life’s great pleasures to watch genre writers come to life when presented with talk about movies, video games, or other genre related accouterments. They are in general a very agreeable bunch, and tend to enjoy the company of other genre writers.

  2. 😀 You made a good point: Writers can be eccentric. I can tend to frustrate people with my eccentricity. (Keeping plants as house pets is one example…)

    How about: “Make sure your writer has a good internet connection…however, it is a good idea to limit it as your writer can become undermotivated from too much web access.”

    «If your writer shows signs of being stressed, try complimenting their writing skills, and cook dinner.» Something tells me this was written in hopes that E would read it… 😀

    1. T. S. Bazelli Author

      Hehe you are quite astute my friend.

      I like that bit of advice as well. Too much internet surfing can mean the demise of the writer, but none at all makes a cranky one. LOL

  3. Lol aww, so true… I’m not sure Andy would have “adopted” me if he had known, but good thing we’re already entrenched. Also, I like to think of myself as more dog than cat, but… I dunno, maybe I’m just a really, really affectionate cat, lol.

  4. Haha! What an accurate description! I could relate to every point except being nocturnal — I need my 8 to 10 hours of sleep. Oops, should I have admitted that? =P

    I would add that some writers are happiest with other animal companions. =)

    1. Hehe 9 is about my optimal sleeping number, and I can’t stay up late anymore, but I would be nocturnal if it weren’t for the day job! I miss my animal companion. No pets at this apartment 🙁

    1. Well some cats can be just as affectionate and playful as dogs, and some dogs have a very cat like temperament. Hehe I also know for a fact there are several dog people among us, so I wouldn’t fret too much 🙂

  5. It’s important to have an obsession (or hobby) of your own, as well, to keep you from feeling too bored and neglected. (I’m very lucky my boyfriend is a gamer – otherwise it just would not work out.)

    Good post.

  6. Wonderfully amusing! I’ll force you outside to enjoy the happy sun rays. I’ll be starting Recess League soon! I’m thinking this will be my tagline “Don’t wait! Become what you always wanted to be – a medicore athelete!” 😛

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